Thursday, July 31, 2008

Trying my hand at digital scrapbooking



I used some of the photos I posted earlier of Morgan and used scrapblog.com to do this layout. I really have no idea what I'm doing, but I thought it came out OK in spite of that.

Answer: Pig Gel

The wait is over! I have the answer to our online quiz: What in the World is that Farm Thing?

The white blob of material at the top of the semen collection cup is pig gel. The gel is manufactured by boars as a stopper to keep the other fluids from exiting the sow after breeding.

And if you think THAT is the nastiest thing my husband has touched--then you don't know anything about farming.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

A Bad Day on the Farm



Yesterday was a very bad day on the farm.

The tractor wouldn't start, so we had to call someone to fix it. Then, the hay baler got run in some rocks, so it was a mess.

Our new pig pens didn't stay up, so we had to rebuild them. One bright spot is that we did buy two new cows. And we did pick up a new tractor at an auction.

There was a little bit of trouble with manure hauling. And somehow, our farm was overcome by Morgan's tea set...


It turns out that even pretend farmers can have rough days. And in their effort to "keep it real" my sons have perfected the daily rhythm of farm life.

When something seems to go very wrong every day.

But as they say, a bad day on the farm, still beats a good day at school.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

This Sums it Up


There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,


Right in the middle of her forehead.




When she was good,
She was very good indeed,



But when she was bad she was horrid.



-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (and my mother)


Friday, July 25, 2008

What in the World is That Farm Thing?

Welcome back, everyone to America's favorite online game What in the World is That Farm Thing?

Today's mystery item is pictured below, it is small enough to hold with my hand, yet icky enough that I don't really want to touch it. It contains genetic information on our new boar but it can't really be read.



















Here is a BIG HINT:



















If you think you know what this is and dare speak of it in a public forum, then leave your guess in the comment section. One lucky winner will get to shake my husband's hand.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Field of Dreams... and Memories

I may have married into a farm family, but when it comes to down home family reunions, my family reigns supreme. There's no picnic shelter at the public park for us. We have built it (a campground in the barnyard) and they come (80+ this year).

My family is not so much about farming--Grandpa's farm hasn't seen pigs, cows or tobacco fields since the 60s--but about plumbing. So, of course, our country campground features an open-topped hand-made portable shower, with dressing room and hot water heater.


And in case you think we're all high-end RV'ers, we do have a tent section too.

We spend an entire weekend together and have developed many traditions, including a golf outing, hayride, games for the kids with golden toilet plungers as prizes, two big meals under our own tent, four White Mountain Freezers of homemade ice cream, and a pinata for the kids.

Over the past 19 years, this weekend in July has become the time to introduce boyfriends, share family gossip, exclaim over new babies, fight over Aunt Sandy's coconut cream pie, and renew the bonds of second cousin-hood.
Sadly, my Grandparents are planning a move to a smaller place, which could spell the end of the Family Campout. Somehow I think that we will emerge from this change with new innovations, new family fun, and new traditions. But our Field of Dreams will stay with us always. And if my Grandparents even understood the Internet, I would take the opportunity to tell them here: Thanks for the memories.

Monday, July 21, 2008

PR Idea of the Week

Every spring my husband makes sure to attend the pig auctions held by other farmers. No, he doesn't plan to buy anything--he has hundreds of his own pigs at home--but he goes to show support for his fellow farmers, knowing full well that the psychology of auctions holds that the bigger the crowd, the higher the prices.

And while there are lots of people there and the farmers are very busy staffing their event, they notice who is there. And they reciprocate. So later in April when we have our own pig auction(selling small pigs to 4-H kids and their parents), these same farmers are also there lending their support.

A similar etiquette exists online. Bloggers read the comments left on their site, then they reciprocate with a visit to your site, coupled with a comment of their own, and so it goes.

But how do you reach a lot of people or how do you reach those influentials who are way beyond noticing your comment on their blog. Enter "egommunication" coined by Rohit Bhargava at Ogilvy 360 Digital Influence.

According to Rohit: Egommunication is a form of communication where you can share a message or piece of content with someone based on their own consistent habit of checking mentions of themselves and their content online.

In other words, play to their vanity if you want their attention. Thanks Rohit. Great blog, Rohit.

The most interesting part of the egommunication discussion online was how many people were implementing the approach, at the same time they were writing about it. As am I.

I think the unwritten psychology of auctions holds true for social networking as well. If you boost the crowd at mine, I'll boost the crowd at yours. Even if it's just one pig farmer standing in the back.

Friday, July 18, 2008

'Tis the Season

We were driving through town the other day and I couldn't help but capture this assortment of plastic holiday icons all assembled together, for possibly the very first time.

I was struck by the very novelty of Santa, Frankenstein and the Easter Bunny all hanging out together. And left wondering if this home owner had sworn off holidays or just decided that plastic lawn ornaments weren't in the decorating scheme any more.

And how very small town America for them to leave this lovely assortment right on the front yard for free.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

As (not) Seen on TV

Ladies, have I got a deal for you today. For just nothing, plus the cost of shipping and handling, I will share with you my revolutionary new method for keeping track of your husband at all times.

Yes, you won't have wonder any longer if you husband is home in the house or outside drowning in the pig manure lagoon. You won't have to stop cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, or feeding the mousetraps to know that your loved one has made it inside, surviving another day of potentially fatal farm work.

And my system is so simple and cost-effective, than anyone, even wives who have been trying to track their husbands for 50 years, can use it immediately.

Just listen to these testimonials:

Josie from Eaton - I NEVER knew when my George was back in the house. One night I even went out to look for him in the barnyard. I almost got bit by a raccoon. But after using the Desperate Farmwife Husband Tracking System, I can rest assured that it's George, not the dog, I hear snoring in the other room.

Brittany from New Lebanon - When Brian is outside working late, I never know when he gets back to the trailer. The other night I almost bonked him on the head with the Atari controller when he startled me. Thank you Desperate Farmwife for your easy to use method.

So how does the patented Desperate Farmwife Husband Tracking System work? Let's ask famed beauty and fictional farm wife, Eva Gabor. [applause]


Ms. Gabor, how has the Desperate Farmwife Husband Tracking System changed your life?


Well, my darling, I really couldn't live without it. I used it with all five of my husbands.

Thank you for sharing with us today, Ms. Gabor.

So let's get to it. My Desperate Farmwife Husband Tracking System is based on two basic proven scientific theories of manhood. First, a husband cannot be in a room with a television unless it is turned on. Second, a functioning TV will remain functioning long after the husband has left the room, until acted upon by the wife.

Let me now share a personal testimonial of how this method works in my own life. My husband is in and out several times every evening tending to his State Fair pigs. I find it difficult to track whether he's in or out of the house at a given moment.

So here's where my method comes into play. As soon as he leaves the house, I turn off all the televisions in the house. Shocking! But it works, so stay with me now. When he comes back in the house he turns the TV back on! So if I hear the television going, I know he's around.

The beauty of this system is that I can use it over and over again, multiple times a night and every evening, if need-be.

But what if I want to watch a TV myself? Then I use the same principle, except that instead of turning all the TVs off, I turn them to Little House reruns. When I hear Sports Center on one of them--then I've caught him again!

This system is so flexible, it can be used with teenagers and Antiques Roadshow, and Uncle Ned and The Suite Life.


So act now! If you call in the next 20 minutes, I'll throw in my patented "Is That Smell in the House or Comin' through the Window" detector.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

PR Idea of the Week


PR people always cringe at being the subject of articles. Our work is supposed to happen in the background, with good press clips speaking for themselves. But while we individually hate to have our methods aired, we LOVE to get a peek behind the scenes at other PR people's successes (and failures).

So a recent New York Times story about the success of PR efforts for the little-known Center for Health, Environment and Justice gives us a little voyeuristic thrill. The The Bad Pitch Blog goes as far as to include an image from Psycho to introduce their link.

But the most interesting gem in the New York Times article isn't that some media "fell" for their debunked study on shower curtain toxicity, it's the precious quotes from PR people giving their "magic words" as PR Week calls them, to ensure media interest.

Apparently, the best words for press releases these days are "green," "sex," "cancer," "secret," "fat" and "foreclosure." If we could only come up with a headline that includes all these words, we may find the perfect storm of press release language. How about "Secret Revealed: Sex and Green Living Prevent Cancer, Lower Fat, Reduce Risk of Foreclosure.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Hey, That's Not Hay!

There's one thing you can count on when the mercury rises in farm country. It's time to cram that air conditioner in the window again. That too, but what I really mean is that it is time to bale the hay and straw.

So here's a little tutorial on straw, just to keep you from being one of those annoyingly ignorant people who thinks any respectable hayride operator would actually let you sit your be-hind on their valuable hay while you are pulled around on their wagon.

Straw is a by-product of wheat. It's actually the stalk of the wheat--the part spit out the back of the combine. Our neighbor, "Horn," is harvesting his wheat in this photo.

After the wheat grain is hauled away, then farmers come through with the hay baler (it is still called a hay baler, even when baling straw). And upon determining yes, it is the hottest day of the entire summer, they proceed to bale the straw, a process that requires a tractor operator (always the best job), and at least one bale stacker (the very worst job), plus others back at the barn to unload wagons, assuming you are making multiple trips.

This photo shows my father-in-law operating the tractor, my husband as bale stacker and those two other tiny little things in the tractor are my two sons.

There is a science to stacking bales of straw and hay. Obviously, you want to get the most on the wagon in a way that's not going to topple on you. Also, when stored, the bales need to last well into the winter, so they need to be stacked tightly to stave off dampness and critters.

Here's another look at the baler. I'm finding that no farm fact is too basic for some people, so I will point out that the baler works by compressing the straw and then tying it up with baling twine.

Many a farmer also uses baling twine to keep his pants up, re-attach parts to his tractor, and if needed, it also comes in handy as a tourniquet if you do something dumb like stick your hand inside the corn picker. Or maybe ride on the back of the baler as it goes down a major roadway.

So the next time you go on a "hay" ride know that some rural kid worked on a 110 degree July day to bring you that bale. And should you go too heavy on the cider and fall off, make sure someone in your party knows all of the first aid applications of baling twine.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Making a Big Splash on the Farm

Last week we traveled to the Kentucky State Fairgrounds in Louisville (or Lou-uh-vull as my seven-year-old son keeps correcting me) for the Summer Type Conference.

Type of what? You ask. Well, type of pigs, of course.

And we met this little guy. Isn't he cute? (Not Ryan, I'm talking about the pig!) His name is Big Splash and he comes from a farm in South Dakota. We bought him at the auction, loaded him on the trailer, and brought him back to Farmersville.
Being the new pig on the farm is kind of like being the new kid at school. Everyone is wary of you at first--even the adults, who keep you separated from all the rest for a while. Then slowly you gain acceptance until before you know it you're fathering all of next year's State Fair offering. Oh, I guess the analogy should end now. Anyway, please join me in welcoming Big Splash, a purebred Yorkshire boar, to our farm. He is going to love it here this winter.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

PR Idea of the Week


One of the most brilliant and enduring PR stunts of all time is the Nathan's hot dog eating contest.

I once had the opportunity to meet the quiet yet amazing PR guy behind the invention of this event, and I remain in awe.

This photo in USA Today is more brand promotion and positive goodwill than you could get for thousands of dollars of PR budget.

The trick for PR people is to uncover the hidden "hot dog eating contest" in their business or client. I firmly believe if left to their own creative devices (this rarely happens, BTW), truly good PR people can find a cool story in any company.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Knee High by the Fourth of July

There's an old saying in farm country that corn should be "knee high by the fourth of July" if it's going to be ready for a good harvest in the fall. So enjoy a few fun corn pictures of my kids and kin and a few corn facts you can throw around to impress your carpool buddies as you exit the cul de sac.



Economic Fact: Corn is currently selling for more than $7 a bushel. This means that it is more expensive to feed cattle and pigs--and will affect meat and dairy prices at the store.


You Will be Surprised How Many People Don't Know this Fact: The corn raised on farms by livestock farmers and grain farmers is NOT the same as what you eat. Farmers grow highly evolved "field corn" that is harvested when it is dry and the kernels are hard. People eat "sweet corn," which is very different breed of corn and is harvested when it is still green. (A little trick here: sweet corn is also grown by farmers BUT different farmers)


Fact to Show how In-touch You are With the Plight of Farmers: When corn gets very dry, the leaves curl up and get very pointy. When you see a field looking like this, you can point it out and declare what a dry spell we are in. Very impressive to your rural friends. Or fellow guys who mow their .25 acre lawns with a John Deere riding mower.

Appointment Pooping

  NOTE: If you do not want to read about my healthy bowel movement, well too late you just did. I recently became you-better-get-a-colonosco...