Tuesday, June 30, 2009

One of THOSE Moms

The best parenting advice I ever received came from some older cousins who already had 2.5 children. They said: Never say that you will NEVER do something as a parent--because you will.

I have thought of this many times when I did things I said I'd never do, like hold a baby while on the toilet (They can get by without me for a minute, can't they? No.) or be the mother of a biter (Only really bad parents have children who bite, I thought.) or yell and dig my nails into the chair during a game for a kid who knows so little about sports he thinks the Buckeyes should play the Bengals (no comment about which team would win).

I managed to keep my cool during the whole season of Ryan's coach-pitch baseball team. I only yelled encouragement and tried to keep quiet most of the time, lest I become one of the THOSE Moms. You know who they are; the ones who keep a constant stream of chatter throughout the game--the ones whose own kid is really the best.

But then Ryan's team won their first tournament game by a nail-biting two runs and all my thoughts of never went out the window. I went through the whole season not even encouraging my son to discuss whether he won or lost, but suddenly I was the mom on the sidelines keeping the other parents abreast with unofficial score keeping.

The second game wasn't as close but as all those boys continued to play so well and make such good plays, I was overcome with emotion. Fortunately, I also had sunscreen in my eyes to blame for the the occasional dab at the cheeks.


When they won their third straight game--and the coach pitch championship--you'd have thought we were parents of Olympic Champions. We were whooping and jumping out of our chairs.

So congratulations to Ryan and his cousin who felt the taste of victory this summer.

Soon I'll be on to my next never. I said I would never subject myself or anyone else in the family to an eight-hour dance recital for a kid who can't spell ballet--I'm sure I'll eat those words soon too.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Guy Reads

Guy (that's my nickname for my husband) gets his paycheck from the farm, which in turn gets a lot of its steady income from milking cows. So even though his time and energy are spent on pigs, I try to keep him updated on cow news. Which means it's time for another installment of Guy Reads, the exciting segment where I share with you the news items I clip out of the paper for my husband.

In international news, CNN.com is reporting that a woman in England was trampled by cows while walking her dogs. I want Guy to see this, not because I really think any of us stand a chance of being trampled, but because the 98 percent of the nation who is not involved in agriculture will see things like this and believe cows are dangerous.

My husband does not get to have the conversations I do with Friendly Suburban-Dwelling Co-Workers to understand how little people do know about agriculture.

But here's something I didn't know... the Associated Press reports:
Belching from the nation's 170 million cattle, sheep and pigs produces about one-quarter of the methane released in the U.S. each year, according to the Environmental Protection Agency. That makes the hoofed critters the largest
source of the heat-trapping gas.

Yuck. Let me just share that I have smelled a sheep burp and it is nasty. I'll save that story for another post.

Thanks to our powerful farm lobby and the quick thinking of Rep. Todd Tihart R-Kan., the EPA will not be allowed to include biological processes of livestock in their greenhouse gas regulations.

So in summary... do not mess with the cows. They will hunt you down, and burp on you.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

7 Pigs, 2 Boys, 1,166 Miles

Let me take a moment to suspend this blog's regularly scheduled gentle teasing of Husband to point out admiringly that he just completed a five-day, 1,166-mile trip with two boys and seven pigs.

Last week he loaded up our beautiful aluminum trailer with his finest Yorkshires and headed out to Des Moines for the World Pork Expo.

Not only did he care for a selection of pigs and 2/3 of his own offspring, Husband, the man who is genetically predisposed to take six photos on a weeklong trip to Disney, TOOK SEVERAL PHOTOS.

In addition to showing his barrow and gilt for ribbons, Ryan participated in a number of contests on his skills as a junior swine farmer. He won fifth in his age group of more than 100 kids from 48 states and two countries. Justin and his Yorkshire gilt won a lovely silver ribbon too.

Here is Justin showing his Yorkshire gilt. The goal of pig showing is to get your pig in view of the judge multiple times. Unfortunately, both the judge and the pig insist on walking around the show ring randomly. Your job as a pig exhibitor (well not your job, actually) is to use a plastic pipe or wooden cane to gently tap the pig and steer it in the direction you want, to maximize viewing by the judge. Of course, 250 lb pig + 40 lb kid = things not always going as planned.

Ryan and Justin both did a great job, but it was all due to the dedication of their father, whose only slip-up was coming home with seven boys and two pigs.
Truthfully, he managed this huge trip with incredible calm and organization. The World Pork Expo doesn't give out ribbons for that--but they should.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Road Trip

Husband and the boys left this week for a farmer-son road trip to, where else, the World Pork Expo.

Really, I should just stop the post now. World Pork Expo seems to be a punchline in and of itself. But this is serious business--it's like Comdex for hog farmers. (Oh, sorry tech geeks, Comdexdoesn't exist anymore, does it?)

I attended last year's World Pork Expo, a very strategic move, it turns out, because I wouldn't have wanted Husband to be tempted to bring me back any weird souvenirs.

This year Husband and his father loaded up four Yorkshire gilts (white females), two Yorkshire boars (males, with balls), and one Hampshire barrow (black with a white belt, no balls) for the 10-hour drive to Des Moines, Iowa.

Our pigs travel in deluxe aluminium accommodations. I would mention the trailer brand just to be nice but they don't seem to have much of a Web site, let along a social media program. So I'll just say this: We would have brought our Carhartt Jackets but it was too warm for Carhartt Jackets and we left the Carhartt Jackets at home [I'm not compensated, just fishing for a comment from the nice people at Carhartt who seem to "get" the Internet.]
Anyway, Ryan and Justin were very excited to head out on an adventure with Daddy. Husband is to be commended for taking such a big trip by himself. I just hope he can get a little shuteye while Ryan drives through Illinois.
More World Pork Expo updates and this blog's FIRST EVER photo contributions from Husband, coming soon!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Middle Child on the Radar

My sweet, sweet little Justin. We never really know what he's going to come up with next.

Known for his uncanny knack for ruining photos, his creative clothing choices and his loving disposition, our little Justin is so much like his "GrandDad," in looks and his approach to life that we just have to laugh.

I just had to capture his Radar O'Reilly look. [More evidence I am getting old: did you know there are young people in America who have never seen M*A*S*H*? What is the world coming to?]

Justin loves to ride his bike, play t-ball, and most of all to make "crafts" at the little desk in his room with his ever-growing supply of pipe cleaners, pre-cut foam pieces, googly eyes, and colored pencils.

Tomorrow morning he will be joining his big brother and Dad on a big trip. I will miss his smudged glasses and his sweet little smile. Most of all I will miss the way he periodically stops playing to come and just see if I'm still here for him.

Appointment Pooping

  NOTE: If you do not want to read about my healthy bowel movement, well too late you just did. I recently became you-better-get-a-colonosco...