Monday, April 26, 2010

Au Revoir

The pig sale is over and Claude' is off on his national pig grooming tour but he was kind enough to leave behind his friendly but much less flamboyant half-cousin, Bob.

Bob is a big hit with the kids and really knows his way around a pig farm.

 

Au revoir, Claude'. Whenever our ears catch the gentle hum of livestock clippers or we set our eyes on a freshly groomed pig--we'll think of you.

Friday, April 23, 2010

The Mysterious Claude'

National pig-clipping man of mystery, Claude', is greatly enjoying the fame and fortune that come from being featured on this blog (maybe not too much fortune, actually).


It will soon be time to say goodbye to our dear friend as he leaves us to impart his swine grooming knowledge elsewhere. Husband would not have made it through the week without the help and guidance of Claude'. We only hope we can book him for next year.

Ladies, I promise I will do my best to capture Claude' in action at our pig sale, however, you need to know that he is happily married to a lovely woman who bakes blue-ribbon winning pineapple upside down cake. You don't stand a chance.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Weekend Plans Cut Short

I haven't been at my current job long enough yet, apparently, because people still make the mistake of asking me what are you doing this weekend? I say that it is a mistake to ask me about my weekend plans because that question is supposed to be followed with an ordinary answer like going to see a movie or yardwork.

But when you ask me about my weekend plans, you're likely to get an answer like this: well, we'll be pretty busy getting ready for our pig auction. Husband has to give haircuts to 100+ pigs.

Yes, you read that right. Pigs get haircuts. Husband is grooming them for the pig auction (we call it a sale) that we are having on Saturday. In the market for a pig? Head over here.

Pigs have short, coarse hair that in days of old was used to make brushes (and maybe still today). Husband and other pig farmers clip the hair of the pigs shorter to make them look more appealing to potential buyers, who in this case are 4-H kids and parents looking for a hog to take to the county or state fairs.

What are the steps in cutting a pig's hair? And do you have photos? I thought you'd never ask.

The first step in any animal grooming project is corralling the animal to be groomed. In this case, Husband uses our farm trailer to transport a litter of pigs (brother and sister pigs) to the barn beauty parlor. Ryan, Justin and Morgan were along for the ride, along with nationally renowned pig clipper, Claude', whose secret identity we must preserve lest he be stolen from us by our swine grooming competiton. (Claude' is not his real name; his credentials may have been exaggerated.)


The pigs are then snared at the nose to keep them from running off and then Husband uses animal grooming clippers to clip all the hair on the pig's body. The pigs, surprisingly, are not keen to have their normal routine of pooping, chewing on the fence, eating, sleeping, and more pooping disturbed. While the haircut does not harm them, they do not like the process and tend to squeal.

Proving again that our children have very different milestones than most kids, today was a big day for Ryan as he clipped his very first pig.
Claude' was kind enough to guide him through the process while Husband entertained some potential buyers from out of state. Justin maintained a supervisory role while Morgan hid in the house to avoid the squealing.
Husband and Claude' clipped about 35 pigs this weekend, only 75 more to go! Fortunately, we have the services of Claude' all week. He and Husband will get all the pigs groomed in time for our sale, I'm sure.

Stay tuned for next weekend's adventures, which include bathing 100+ pigs (Husband and boys) clerking a pig auction with my in-laws (me), and closing down Frisch's in Eaton (all). 

Friday, April 16, 2010

Sign of the Farmpocalypse

Every issue of Sports Illustrated has a brief quote titled Sign of the Apocolypse, a humorous but true sports news item that makes you wonder--have we gone too far? In that spirit, I present another installment of Sign of the Farmpocalypse, because I just can't make this stuff up.

"I want to see pigs. I want to see pigs."

- Cries from our six-year-old sleep walker, found roaming the halls last night.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Farming is a Business, Darn It

My latest post is up on Dayton Most Metro, wherein I preach to urbanites about how farmers face the same issues as every small business.



Following up on Poop Day was tougher than expected.

Appointment Pooping

  NOTE: If you do not want to read about my healthy bowel movement, well too late you just did. I recently became you-better-get-a-colonosco...