Thursday, September 15, 2011

Bio-Degradable

In my world of public relations, if I'm not writing short biographies (bios) of corporate executives, I'm being asked to write one for myself.

I thought it would be fun to write my real bio; maybe I'll start using this:


Holly Michael once wanted to build, then promote the world’s largest Oreo on Times Square or drive the Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile, instead she tackled the world of corporate communications, writing many, many press releases with the word “solution” in them. Over the course of her career,  Holly has managed, against stiff opposition from many engineers-turned-marketers, to get companies mocked on The Daily Show and written up in the Wall Street Journal next to charts of their declining stock price. An award-winning writer and strategist, Holly has accepted local and national awards for programs involving, separately, budgets for dead bodies and private investigators. Holly lives on an un-air-conditioned pig farm.


PhotoCredit: Watauga Democrat

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Sign of the Farmpocalypse

Every issue of Sports Illustrated has a brief quote titled Sign of the Apocalypse, a humorous but true sports news item that makes you wonder--have we gone too far? In that spirit, I present another installment of Sign of the Farmpocalypse, because I just can't make this stuff up.

Daddy pulled a lizard out of the pig, except it was long and skinny.
 
 - What Morgan said after she witnessed Husband collecting his boar.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Population: One Farm Wife. Sal-ute!

Last week during the county fair (post on that coming soon!) I got an email from the editor of Farm & Dairy notifying me that they had finally published an interview with me and two other much more qualified farm wife bloggers on their blog, The Social Silo.

The Social Silo

I was doing that activity that you do at the fair between frantic efforts to get a kid and animal ready for show--sitting around on a picnic table--so I clicked on the link on my smart phone and started to read.

Oh, no. Did I just imply that Hee-Haw cast members know something about agriculture? Well, they do sit around on straw bales.  

Just check out The Social Silo for poop day, cow intestines and pig tits--it's Minnie Pearl approved.

Appointment Pooping

  NOTE: If you do not want to read about my healthy bowel movement, well too late you just did. I recently became you-better-get-a-colonosco...