Last week at the office I told a group of people that I recently had the wax sucked out of my ears. But that wasn't the oldest thing in the world.
In that same conversation I mentioned that I could now hear so well I felt like the Bionic Woman--and less than half of my co-workers knew what I meant. We have the technology... But THAT wasn't the oldest thing in the world.
Husband is now the same age as my Grandmother was when I was born. But that isn't the OLDEST thing in the world.
Currently on the family DVR: 68 episodes of Murder She Wrote, 65 episodes of Matlock, 42 episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard and one Diagnosis Murder. BUT that isn't the oldest thing in the world.
We also own and use a VCR. But that ISN'T the oldest thing in the world.
Our local high school, which hasn't graduated anyone since it was absorbed into a larger school district in 1969, is holding its annual reunion at a nursing home.
And THAT, my friends, is the oldest thing in the world.
I do an unbelievable amount of research for each of my blog posts. And in researching this one, I discovered that my extreme level of non-hipness reaches all the way down to the level of thinking that Will Smith's 1998 rap hit was "Gettin' Funky with it." Also, I thought this was a recent tune. And I almost spelled rap with a W.
Na na na na na na na.
My extreme whiteness established, I do want to talk about a new miracle product that entered my life recently called Funk-Out. The good people at Funk-Out thought just maybe that a farm wife like me might be dealing with some funk (disclosure of product gratis).
Of course I have a lot of funk that I want out! I'm married to the freakin Octo-Farmer for heaven's sakes.So I tried it out.
The first test was of the Funk-Out Spray Deodorizer, which I sprayed into the bench of our hall tree, which over a year ago was the home of some very moldery corn hole bags. Yes, many are made with real corn! The stench was impervi…