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Showing posts from June, 2012

Snapshots on the Farm

Is there anything more wonderfully country than farm-raised sweet corn? Our country neighbors (which means they can be as much as five miles away) have a sweet corn stand back their long gravel lane with a money box based on the honor system.

Forrest Gump of DeGraff

I really like the movie Forrest Gump. So many of us can quote lines from the film but to me what makes it interesting is how Forrest becomes (often comically) ingrained in so many historical moments. Rolling Stone called the movie and Tom Hanks portrayal of Forrest, everything we admire in the American character – honest, brave, loyal...

I recently read a book that made me think of Forrest Gump, not that the main character is dim, in fact he goes on to be a university president, but that he comes of age during the post-war period and lives more common, but still important, bits of history.

Dr. Rick Niece's second automythography, "The Band Plays On," takes place in rural DeGraff, Ohio. Where, thanks to my review of his first book, he is now so famous he has been invited back to be the grand marshall of the parade opening the DeGraff Country Fair this fall.

Back in 1950-something Rick Niece moved to DeGraff, Ohio with his family. His first book tells the tale of a young p…

Hey, Don't Screw This Up

I will consider myself FAILED as a farm wife mommy blogger if you don't yet know the difference between hay and straw
Due to the mild winter, many wheat fields are being harvested early, which means it's time for straw. If you don't know the connection between wheat and straw.... well, just shoot me now.

Get yourself educated, before you say something stupid on a hay ride. Try not to embarrass me, will ya.

It's a Kidney Stone!

Ladies Who are Mothers, you know that feeling when IT IS TIME TO GO  because that being growing inside of you is ready to pass through a way-too-small canal out a way-too-small hole.

Imagine that happening to a man. Except the being that is being passed is this small: .  See it there? That dot. Men get morphine to pass these.

And when they are writhing in agony in the car on the way to the hospital you are expected to break the same number of traffic laws as an entire season of the Dukes of Hazzard. You are NOT, as it turns out, allowed to casually shave and finish your Subway sandwich--like Husband did to ME six years ago.

Although, let me just say something about the feeling of driving someone to the hospital at 2 a.m. on a weeknight. What a THRILL. I have been training my whole life for this. And some people in the family say I drive like a crazy person. I was only practicing for the CRITICAL day when I would need to rush my dear Husband to the hospital so he could pass a fly-spec…

Show Business

Last week I taped a MomTalk Radio Father's Day show with the legendary Maria Bailey. How did that happen? I don't really know. Totally out of the blue I got an email from her assistant Carey asking if I wanted to do the show.

I have been receiving the MomTalk emails for some time now, so I guess my number just came up.

I wanted to be prepared so I went to the website and listened to a few back episodes--all very good and very informative for Moms. She has a great mix of experts on relevant topics for families.

The day/time of the taping I got a call from a male producer who basically dumped me directly on the line with Maria. But just like when you go on Oprah (I would assume.) there is no time for idle chit-chat. In about five seconds the other Mom was on the line and it was time to put on the RADIO VOICE.

And Maria has a very nice radio voice (her regular voice is nice too). The actual interview was fun. We talked about our plans for Father's Day--both me and the othe…

Dirty Socks for Father's Day

Yesterday we gave my father-in-law dirty socks for Father's Day. It wasn't our original intention.

First, in our defense, my father-in-law is very difficult to buy for. He's not very technologically savvy, so gadgets are out and he's a farmer, so aside from a few to wear to church, ties are out too. I did try to do an experience gift at Christmas but the Segway tour of Downtown Dayton went unredeemed (damn impulse Groupon).

Anything else he wants he buys for himself, so we have to stick to needs for gift-giving. I REFUSE to purchase underwear as a gift for anyone (Thongs are the exception. You were wondering how I was going to work in a thong reference, weren't you?) Hence the socks.

If there was an Olympic event for sock wearing-out my father-in-law would win, so much so that he'd be under Lance Armstrong-like scrutiny for cheating. He loves to tell the story about how when he was young the local dry goods store had a guarantee on socks. If you wore their bra…

From the Archive: A Friendly Letter on Father's Day

Enjoy this post from 2010. As I sit here I can hear Todd and Ryan out in the barn working hogs together. The perfect way to spend Father's Day.
Originally posted June 2010: Ryan had a school assignment to write a letter to a friend or relative about what they want to be when they grow up. The teacher shared this letter with my mother-in-law (also a teacher) who kindly intercepted it to be presented today as a Father's Day tribute.
A sweet tribute to the man who has taught him everthing he needs to know in life--from his friend, Ryan M.

This Could be a Problem

I think my head is going to explode. You guys, I just figured out how to make a custom THONG on Cafe Press.

Do you comprehend the absolute OPPORTUNITY here to commemorate ALL of my swine-related activities via thong? We're talking Poop Day, Ohio State Fair O'Neil Swine Barn, Summer Type Conference (always been a toughie to find commemorative undergarments for this one), the day Claude' arrives to clip pigs and even the Montgomery County Fair Swine Show. Maybe a special edition, My Kid Won Showmanship, version.

Breathe. Breathe.

Anyone up to the challenge? Send me your agriculture related thong idea. If any make tears of hysteria stream down my face, I will buy two. One for me and one for you. As a bonus, I will NOT model mine.

Do it for America.

World Pork Expo: Westward O!

Last week Husband, Ryan, Justin and I drove 10 hours in our pick-up truck to the World Pork Expo in Des Moines, Iowa, with a trailer full of pigs. I then made a side trip to deliver souvenir underwear to a dear friend in Omaha.

I decided to time-delay my posts on this event for the safety of our farm, and because I wouldn't want someone to haul off my livestock-event-themed undergarment collection.

To start from the beginning of our adventures, check out the thong-a-riffic World Pork Expo - Day 1, poop-filled World Pork Expo - Day 2 and the blue-ribbon World Pork Expo - Day 3.

Keep reading for World Pork Expo - Day 4

I have kept you in suspense long enough. I know you have been DYING to know the secret identity of my hapless friend who received the WORLD. PORK. EXPO. THONG.
Well, the thong was awarded to my dear friend Megan. Why? Because she is the kind of friend who when encountering a giant metal chicken on the sidewalk of Omaha will look at me and say, Knock, knock motherf*cke…

World Pork Expo: Boots Edition

Last week I ate a whole pig's worth of free pork. HA! Actually, I DID do that after Husband, Ryan, Justin and I drove 10 hours in our pick-up truck to the World Pork Expo in Des Moines, Iowa, with a trailer full of pigs.

I decided to time-delay my posts on this event for the safety of our farm, and because I wouldn't want someone to haul off the light wood, dated entertainment center in our living room. Oh, wait...
To start from the beginning of our adventures, check out the thong-a-riffic World Pork Expo - Day 1 and poop-filled World Pork Expo - Day 2.

Keep reading for World Pork Expo - Day 3

World Pork Expo Day 3 was also Ryan's 11th birthday. He happily celebrated the day like he will many birthdays, with manure on his boots and a smile on his face. The year he was born my father-in-law headed to the World Pork Expo on his own so that Husband could stay close by. Fortunately, Ryan waited to arrive until his GrandDad got back.

Oh, my! Look at this hot mama ready for …

World Pork Expo: Hurry Up and Wait

Last week I accompanied Husband to a trade show for his job. We stayed at a posh resort in Arizona and I lounged by the pool while he went to meetings. HA! Actually, Husband, Ryan, Justin and I drove 10 hours in our pick-up truck to the World Pork Expo in Des Moines, Iowa, with a trailer full of pigs. 

I decided to time-delay my posts on this event for the safety of our farm, and because I wouldn't want someone to haul off our VCR tape collection.
To start from the beginning, check out the thong-a-riffic World Pork Expo - Day 1.
Keep reading for World Pork Expo - Day 2
By day two all 2,100 pigs in the barn had managed to poop 20 times each. And if you do the math, you'll realize that you'll never want anyone in my family to wear their shoes in your house again. 

Ryan and Justin were participating in the World Pork Expo Junior National, a show put on by the National Junior Swine Association. (Membership is free, in case you know of any young people looking to build their res…

Snapshots on the Farm

Justin spends a little quality time with his Yorkshire gilt (female). He wants her to practice for an upcoming show but she would rather root in the dirt.