Thursday, February 26, 2015

Guy Reads

It has been a long time since I did a "Guy Reads" post, but this story just cried out to be shared with you and with Husband. 

Guy (that's my nickname for my husband) doesn't bother with too many pages of the newspaper that don't contain box scores. I do what I can to keep him abreast of pressing agricultural issues, which means it's time for another installment of Guy Reads, the exciting segment where I share with you the news items I clip (or link) from the media for my husband.

From our local TV and newspaper conglomerate Cox Media comes the story of a farmer from north of Dayton who saved his near-frozen baby goat by putting him the in oven. In. The. Oven. See video below.






I'm actually afraid to have Husband see this. He already keeps pig medicine in the refrigerator, dirty gloves in the kitchen, rubber boots by the back door, dirty stained farm records on his desk and untold amounts of straw on my floors. I don't want him to think that he can now start putting livestock in my oven.



UPDATE: A sad ending. The goat does not make it through the night.





Saturday, February 21, 2015

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Helping with Harvest

We are wrapping up harvest on the farm.

Morgan and her cousin were excited to help gather up some of the corn left in the field.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

The Valley Recap: You Owe Me Big Time (S1:E8)

Welcome back to the FINALE! If you missed my previous recaps of The Valley, be sure to check them out.

The Valley is a Dayton-produced reality show: Everyone has something to prove. So what’s your story?

The cast includes:
Ally –  Sings on stage
Chris – Surprisingly bad at Wipe-Out
Stephanie – Makes up with Ally
Donald –  Spits some
Alexys –  Exchanges gifts with Ally
Nathan – Underestimates

Last episode, Stephanie and Donald flirted at The Beach Waterpark, the cool white kids went to the Dayton Mall, Alexys talked about being bullied in high school.

Theme song :  “Do you have what it takes?” To sit through the finale? To kiss an alpaca?

First adventure: JD Legends
Ally sings two original songs for the crowd.

Nathan: “I really underestimated her singing skills. Like always, I underestimate.”

Alexys: “I imagined her songs as Alpaca, Happy, Love. And Ding, ding, ding.”


Second adventure: Milano’s (again)
Cool white kids, Chris, Ally and Alexys hang out.

Chris talks about his mud run.

They talk about Ally’s on and off relationship with Cory, the boyfriend. Like we were supposed to know. We didn’t know.


Third adventure: Razdabar Recording Studio
Don B meets his mentor, Moe Beats. I did not make that up, but I kinda wish I did.

Donald wants to get into the rap game.

Moe: You can “spit some” if you want to.

Don B: Spits some





Fourth Adventure: Ohio State Fair
Really, they go to COLUMBUS.  Of course, none of them have ever been to the Ohio State Fair before.

They hit the petting zoo. Ally fed an alpaca with her mouth. This is oddly cathartic--like we wrapped up a story line from the very first episode.


Nathan: “Ally was kinda kissing the alpaca. It was kinda gross but who am I to judge.” Because I live in a house that smells like dog.

Thanks, producers, for the banjo music accompaniment to their visit to the fair. They didn't even visit the farm part. We were there so much; we could have been in the background if they had just visited the hog barn!

They play a Wipe-Out game on the midway. Surprisingly, Alexys and Nathan are the finalists.


Fifth Adventure: Ally’s house
Cool white kids gather to say goodbye

Ally and Alexys exchange gifts. They gave each other the same framed picture and some other things, which they don’t show the camera.

Nathan, Stephanie and Donald don't get to say goodbye. It's cool. Don B and Stephanie have each other. And Nathan will soon be welcomed into the warm, non-judgmental embrace of Cincinnati.

Alexys: I met some people I will stay in touch with for the rest of my life and some that I won’t.

Sniff.

Unresolved items: Don B and Stephanie hooking up? Nathan coming out to DeGraff? Airing of Chris’s PSA? Alexys’s Mom hooking up with Johnny?

Don’t worry. The genius producers of this show are already recruiting for Season 2! So many more things to do in Cincinnati, right?


Thanks to everyone who stuck with me each week. And thanks to Daytons CW for producing a fun and highly mock-able show. See ya next season!

Sunday, October 26, 2014

The Valley Recap: “This is Never Going to Matter” (S1:E7)


Welcome back! If you missed my previous recaps of The Valley, be sure to check them out.

The Valley is a Dayton-produced reality show: Everyone has something to prove. So what’s your story?

The cast includes:
Ally –  Wears a hat
Chris – Shops for a baby
Stephanie – Flirts with Donald
Donald – Flirts with Stephanie
Alexys –  Was bullied in high school
Nathan – Lies to his parents

Last episode, Stephanie gagged at mud volleyball, Alexys continued her drama and Chris met a drag queen.

Theme song :  “Do you have what it takes?” To give up on this show before you even finish the promised eight episodes? To care about any of these people ever again? To tune in for future seasons?

First adventure: Dayton Mall
Ally, Chris and Alexys – the cool suburban white kids – hang out at the mall.


More boring talk about the Stephanie drama.
Chris:  “This is never going to matter.”

Nathan calls--from the back woods of DeGraff? His parents have asked him if he is gay and he lies, because he hasn't moved out yet.

Does he not have any other friends? Why does he have to call them at the mall?

Ally, Chris and Alexys are doing a charity event. Guy from the mall does some sort of speech. They are going to shop at JC Penney’s for Hannah’s Treasure Chest.

Chris has to shop for a baby. Literal money shots of the mall.

Producer: Next-to-last episode, so we better use up all that b-roll of Dayton we took before we decided to shoot mostly in Cincinnati.

Alexys and Ally sit down in the mall and chat. Alexys says she was bullied in high school by girls who stalked her.


Second adventure: Milano’s
Alexys talks about her Xavier cheerleading practice.

Nathan has a new place. It smells like dog. He is only going to live there a month but he had to get away from his parents because of the gay.


Third adventure: The Beach Waterpark
Which appears to be abandoned.

Lots of head cameras used while they go down water slides. Ooh, they have an underwater camera.

Ally: “Why don’t Stephanie and Don B hook up already.”

They hold hands.




Good grief. Last week they teased the finale and made me think that there were only going to be seven episodes. But I guess I get to do this ONE MORE TIME.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Valley Recap: The Hot Mom and the Drag Queen (S1:E6)

Welcome back! If you missed my previous recaps of The Valley, be sure to check them out.

The Valley is a Dayton-produced reality show: Everyone has something to prove. So what’s your story?

The cast includes:
Ally –  Volleyball ace
Chris – Shirtless with a drag queen
Stephanie – “No one is talking to me.”
Donald – Throws down a beat
Alexys –  Her mom has got it goin’ on
Nathan – “I just don’t like getting muddy”

Last episode, Stephanie learned about the TV news business during her largely off-camera visit to a TV station, everyone went back to Camp Kern and we found out Chris is a virgin.

Theme song :  “Do you have what it takes?” To watch this show two more times? To understand anything in Don B’s rap? To play volleyball in the mud?

First adventure: El Toro (still)
Good God. They are still doing this drama. Stephanie and Alexys are recapping their argument in interviews. And they are playing the whole thing again. This is so boring. 


Second adventure: Epilepsy Foundation Mud Volleyball
They all play volleyball in the mud for charity. Stephanie and Alexys look like jocks, everyone else just looks muddy.

In one of the opening shots of the mud, Stephanie appears to be gagging. She later looks happier when she is writing her name on Donald with mud.

Oh, God. Muddy Donald and Chris are talking about the drama.
Chris: “It’s high school bullshit.”


Click here to watch the episode.

Third adventure: Alexys’s Mom’s house
Alexys has a hot Mom and all the troubles that come with it. This exchange is so surreal that I have to quote it a bunch below:

Mom: “I love Alexys’s boyfriend Johnny. I would date Johnny. He brought me sushi. He is so cute.”

Alexys: My other boyfriends have tried to date my Mom. “They got her number off the emergency contact list on our fridge.”

Mom: “They used to sing songs about me on the bus.”

Chris: All the guys love Alexys’s Mom. Laughing.

Alexys has a cute little brother, who knew. 


Fourth adventure: Poleking Lanes South
Everyone goes bowling and brings their friends.

Stephanie has WEIRD friends. Asked to describe her in one word, her friend says “ignorant.” Because “she is the craziest friend I know.” What the hell does that even mean?

Other random friends struggle and fail to use one word.

Chris has a twin sister.  Sub-adventure interview at their house.


Fifth adventure: Club Masque downtown Dayton
They bring friends for a Wednesday night par-tay! Because it’s college night and straight night, says Chris.

The emcee is a drag queen who invites them all to do a twerking competition. Much like with the tent last week, we do not find out who grinds the best. 

Chris: “Nathan twerking was a like a wooden board breaking.”

Chris takes off his shirt on stage—he says the drag queen made him do it.
Drag queen: “Are you gay or straight? I love a challenge.”

Donald does an impromptu rap. His rap name is Don B. 

Nathan: “I underestimated his rapping skills. They are pretty good. They exist.”

We end with more of the freaking drama. What were the producers planning to use as 75 percent of their material if there hadn’t been girl drama? It’s a reality show, duh, stupid question.