An Open Letter to my Weekend Houseguests

Dear Island-Dwelling Brother & Family,

I have been working so hard to get ready for your visit. It’s always great to have company—to give you that kick in the pants you need to actually clean up that bad corner of the office, or change the sheets.

I’m not complaining at all, I am just writing to warn you that despite all my efforts, all my work to make this a guest haven supreme, I am being thwarted at every turn.

I bought some lovely flowers for the front porch. And then your niece decided to pick them for me. So now we can all enjoy our snack of popsicles on the front porch with the lovely view of Geranium stems.

I spent all weekend cleaning the carpets. And then your niece and nephew decided to make an afternoon of playing in the last mud puddle on the farm. So now we can retrace their muddy little steps across three rooms.

I got some great food and snacks for us to eat. And then your brother-in-law decided to get a head start on the festivities. So now we have to eat the little box of Honey Smacks instead of the Froot Loops and the Wavy Lays instead of Cool Ranch Doritos.

But good news. We have soap. We have every brand of hotel soap, shampoo, conditioner and lotion ever provided in a business class hotel. And none of that cheapo shampoo/conditioner stuff either. That stuff never comes home with me.

So just know that our house won’t be perfect. Our kitchen won’t be stocked. But we have a queen size futon that’s been slept on twice and a shower that’s been used once. And soap.

And the kids are so excited. They have been mapping out all the things they want to do with their cousins. Mainly eat popsicles and apply band-aids. But that should be fun.