Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Sign of the Farmpocalypse

Every issue of Sports Illustrated has a brief quote titled Sign of the Apocolypse, a humorous but true sports news item that makes you wonder--have we gone too far? In that spirit, I present the another installment of Sign of the Farmpocalypse, because I just can't make this stuff up.

She needed to know if it was new or used.
- Husband describing his efforts to depreciate a pig with the help of a tax preparer.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Two Years of This

I can't believe it's been two years since I sat down during a blizzard to start this blog. On my first blogiversary I thanked my blogging muse, my dear, sweet Husband. After two years of this, he really deserves a medal.

This year, I'd also like to thank all my loyal readers who read this blog on their lunch hour--even though I sometimes post things that cause Diet Coke to shoot out their noses. (Ok, maybe that only happened to one reader.)

I'd also like to thank all my lurkers. I'd thank you by name but then what fun would that be. You wouldn't get to pretend you don't read the blog; I wouldn't get to post things to get your goat that you can't say anything about since you offiicially don't read the blog. It's complicated but entertaining.

This year I took on a few new blogging challenges. I added the Dayton Media on Twitter listing, which has been quite popular. I also became a guest poster at Dayton Most Metro and tried my hand at Mommy Blogging.

Thanks to my Facebook friends and Twitter pals who I lure over here periodically, my Aunt and Uncle-in-law in New York who always praise my writing, and my co-workers who tell everyone I have a blog about pig sex.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Leverage Two Synergies and Call Me in the Morning

Last week I got a text from my good friend and former corporate colleague, M, who is now a stay-at-home-Mom (SAHM). M had just dropped off her oldest for two hours of pre-school; she was sitting in her minivan in the Starbucks drive-thru lane when she realized she was slipping into SAHM-hood, perhaps losing her corporate edge.

Racing to the elevators on my way to a meeting, I thoughtfully texted back, You are a lost cause. I was joking--just because M doesn't have a corporate paycheck doesn't mean she isn't the same smart, savvy corporate player she always was.

But I can understand her concern about losing her corporate mindset in a world filled with Yo Gabba Gabba. So I have helpfully developed a list of things that SAHM's like M and other women who find themselves away from the corporate grind for a while can do at home to stay in the zone corporate-wise.

Create a corporate atmosphere - It's probably not possible to cover your walls in grey cubicle fabric, but there are a few inexpensive ways to create a more corporate atmosphere in the home
  • Ask your neighbors for some random leftovers. Put them in the back of the fridge and let the lovely aromas instantly transform your kitchen into a corporate break room. Bonus points for posting a passive aggressive note above the garbage disposal switch. Oh, and don't forget to burn some popcorn in the microwave once a week, at least.
  • Create a cumbersome barrier to your bathroom. Lock the door and tie the key to a giant block of wood or maybe walk through three or four rooms of the house each time before you get to the door.
  • Get a lot of fake, green leafy plants. Or if budget permits, get a lot of real plants and hire a lady with a cart to come through and water them. Bonus points for posting Don't water me signs on each pot.
Simulate corporate interactions - It's the people that are a company's most important asset, right? Do what you can to recreate the special feeling of belonging to a corporate workforce.
  • Type up a detailed report of everything you did this week--then e-mail it to someone in another city who you have only talked to on the phone but never met. Bonus points for using Excel.
  • Instead of talking to the people you see every day, like your neighbor or even husband, send them lots of detailed e-mails.
  • Stop driving all over town for PTA or neighborhood association meetings. Make every meeting a conference call. Bonus points for scheduling them back to back.
Enjoy an expense account - Recreate that feeling of satisfaction you felt in spending the corporate budget like it was your own money. Except now it really is your own money.
  • Hire an agency to do something you used to do (e.g. housework, childcare, cooking, landscaping). Announce that you will be doing the strategic thinking while they act as your hands and feet. Fire them in six months when you get sticker shock from the invoice.
  • Go on a boondoggle with one of your biggest vendors. Note: Call this by the corporate name of User Conference rather than the SAHM term: BlogHer.
So you see, it is possible for SAHM's who want to re-enter the workforce eventually or women who are currently looking for a job to keep their head in the game. I guarantee that these tips are just what the doctor ordered to keep you prepared for corporate life. If they don't, you can always leverage two synergies and call me in the morning.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Guy Reads: Senior Clip Service Edition

Corporations and celebrities hire clipping services (or at least they did before the Internet) to track their media coverage and send them relevant articles from the newspaper, however, if you live in small town America or are the offspring of someone who lives in small town America, you have a built-in clipping service. There are armies of little old church-going ladies who, if they know you or anyone in your family tree, will clip news articles about you and put them in envelopes in the hopes they run into you at church or their next social outing/funeral.

Last weekend at church a woman gave us this clipping from the Dayton Journal Herald from February of 1952. Her husband was in the the war (Korean?) and she would mail him clips of local people to read. So this clip is not only 50+ years old, it's been to Korea and back (probably) and it's about Husband's grandfather.

Isn't it quaint that the paper gives nearly a half page (OMG, newspapers have shrunk in 50 years) to writing about an old famer and his herd dog. I never got to spend time with my grandfather-in-law, so I do appreciate the opportunity to read this article and share a little bit about Great-GrandDad with my children.

Will I be running around in 30 years, zapping old blog posts into young people's finger-tip sized electronic gadgets? For the sake of my grandchildren, I hope so.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Dayton Media on Twitter

It's been almost a year since I compiled the original Dayton Media on Twitter list on this blog. I have updated the page many times since then, my goal to create a comprehensive list of all Dayton media Twitter accounts.

My goal in creating this new list is to highlight active accounts, so I have eliminated any media who haven't Tweeted in the last month.





Daytons CW

Ohio News Network

Dayton Daily News

Dayton Business Journal

Regional dailies

Regional weeklies


Dayton Universities

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