The World's Stupidest Cat

In case we have never met, I need to tell you up front that I hate cats. I. Hate. Cats.

So the fact that I took a photo of a cat and actually posted it on this blog is monumental. That I will eventually use this cat as a metaphor is even more surprising.

I'd like to introduce you to the world's stupidest cat. His/her (I haven't bothered to look) qualifications for this designation are many and include:

- Thinking that I will pet it.
- Thinking that I will feed it.
- Thinking that I will love it or have any affection for it at all.
- Thinking that I will let it in my home (at least on purpose).

Here he is. I will pause now for several annoying readers to say awwwww and do some baby talk about the world's stupidest cat.

[pause]

So even though I refuse to allow myself or anyone else in the family to pet it, feed it, have affection for it, or let it in the house, the world's stupidest cat continues to spend hours sitting outside my door staring in at us. He has slipped into the house several times, only to be tossed back out the door immediately. And yet he stays.

[Note: I may be a cat-hating monster but I am not completely heartless. This cat can have food, shelter and companionship in the barn with the other barn cats. Alas, he is stupid.]

So what is the motivation for this cat? We have done nothing to welcome him, yet he persists. We have rejected him at every turn, and yet he returns. All of the other cats are content to hang out in the barn and eat rodents and cat food. So what is wrong with this dumb cat?

This darn stupidest cat in the world has me thinking... What windows are we pitifully staring through. Are we trying to be friends with people who keep rejecting us? Are we trying to get someone to love us who never will?

While all of our friends are content with what is normal and expected, are we crazy or brave to be on our own hoping for more?

What about you? Are you sitting there waiting for someone's heart to grow? And does that make you stupid?

Uptown Funk You Out

Do you know a man? I mean a MAN. The kind of guy who has rough hands and when they slide down your silk blouse, they feel so rugged and it it makes you feel like you just want to...  WAIT. Sorry. Where was I?

Ok, so you have a man. And he smells. Bad. And his laundry is funky. Never fear, I am here to tell you about a great product called Funk-Out.

I have written about Funk-Out before and when the good folks there asked me if I would like to try their new improved formula, I said FUNK YEAH! (Disclosure of product gratis.)

We have a rug right inside the back door that captures Husband coming in with his very funky work boots, hosts the kids coming in with whatever athletic footware they want to kick off, and sometimes plays temporary home to the world's stupidest cat (more on him another time). You may not be surprised to hear that this rug is frequently funky. So I was really excited to try the Funk-Out Odor Eliminator Deodorizing Spray.

I just sprayed some of this miracle stuff at the rug. And then nothing. The rug smelled like NOTHING. Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo).

I can't tell you how great it is to have the Funk-Out Odor Eliminator Laundry Concentrate for the many times Husband's laundry starts funky or gets funky because it wasn't dried right away.

And I am hoping to take their word for this and NEVER find out for myself, but the new Funk-Out is supposed to eliminate skunk odor too. I feel so good having this on hand, because the night (I know it's coming) that Husband gets sprayed by a skunk outside the pig pen at 3 a.m. neither of us are going to be in the mood to drive 20 minutes to an all-night pharmacy for supplies.

So check out Funk-Out. You can see my testimonial on the website!

Say what?


My product review policy.

Spring pigs

It's no secret that I am a fair weather farmer. So on this warm, sunny Sunday I was glad to get out of the house and check out our spring pigs.

Husband needed to ear notch some piglets. To do this, he uses something similar to a single hole punch to add notches to their ears. This serves as their identification. The right ear tells their litter number and the left ear tells which pig they were in the litter, so the third pig in the 38th litter would be 38-3 in our record books and have the corresponding notches in his/her ear, like a secret farmer code.

Morgan is holding a piglet that does NOT have ear notches yet. The pig below had his done about a week ago.

Listening to the little pigs grunting and running around outside in their pen with their mothers is so wonderful this time of year. Also wonderful: listening to my two sons grunting while they shovel manure, leaving me only with the the job of filling out the record book.