Master of My Domain

Recently, all the professional farmers in the family were either on vacation or off at a pig show (I count my seven year-old son as one of the professionals). By a crazy twist of fate, I was the only person left to be officially in charge of the farm for the day.

So I did what any hardcore farm wife would do when left in charge of the farm--I went shopping. Luckily for me, Husband had retained the services of a real farmer to help with the feeding. My only real job was to make sure that everything was still here when the real farmer came to feed.

After my shopping trip I took the inventory:

Cows. Check.

Road-kill munching farm dog with adorable patch on her eye. Check.

Tractor. Check. Hay bales. Check.

This thing. Check.

Pigs. Check. Observational cat. Check.

Fortunately, Husband found the farm in pretty good shape when he got home. I hope I get to be in charge again soon. I could use another trip to the mall.

Venturing Out

We enjoyed today what one sleep-deprived meteorologist called an "ice sandwich." A layer of snow covered in ice and then coated with another four inches of the white stuff.

I ventured to the end of the lane to get the mail and newspaper. I guess all that rain, sleet, snow, dark of night stuff is for real--both were delivered on time.

What do tough country kids do when it snows? They put on their Carhartt jackets and head out.

I may have spawned a fair weather farmer after my own heart.

We live on a busy county road, with cars usually whizzing by at 55+ mph. Today, there was little evidence we even had a road at the end of our lane.

Here's the view facing west. I only include this to impress my husband who often laughs at my inability to know which direction I am facing. The little blacktop showing is courtesy of my brother-in-law who scraped the lane and then kept going.

THIS is snow removal country style. Oh, yeah. Of course, Husband spent all day shoveling out the pigs, so my car and little cement pad behind the house remain covered in ice sandwich.

You know you're married to a farmer when ensuring that every animal has a place to poop takes precedent over de-icing the minivan.

Trick or Treat

Beggars' night in the country means getting in the car and driving around to relatives who may actually be expecting trick-or-treat'ers and then parking in a subdivision to take advantage of the generosity of the people who live there.

This year we went out as Spiderman, a princess and our sole homemade costume: John Deere Tractor, complete with official stickers purchased at the dealer.
I originally made the tractor costume for Ryan. Justin was a baby that year, so he was the pig, of course. We even took the tractor costume to town and won a contest--all the judges must have been farmers. This year we didn't fare as well at a MUCH more crowded event in the same town.
Justin was a real trooper and carried the tractor around all evening. He got beat out by an OSU cheerleader wearing fake curly pigtails. Even my husband the rabid Buckeye fan couldn't believe it.

In a totally unrelated matter, I have this announcement:
FOR SALE Foamboard JD tractor,
Some post-Halloween damage due
to wrestling cousins, two-legged
powertrain not included.

Answer: Silo Blower

I know the suspense has been killing you. The answer to the latest What in the the World is that Farm Thing? is: silo blower.

To me, the most fascinating thing about farm machinery is its relative simplicity--at the least the vintage of farm equipment we have around here. The blower works by using the tractor to operate a powerful fan that then blows the chopped up corn up, up, up into the silo.

The corn is then fed to the cows, who twice a day produce 100 pounds of manure a piece. They also give milk.

The Joys of Coastal Living

It's inconceivable that I have just put my kids to bed by candlelight for the third night in a row (OK, their Dad uses a flashlight) because our Ohio home is in its 59th hour without electricity--DUE TO A HURRICANE.

Update: We ended up going a FULL WEEK without power, about 175 hours!

Apparently, we now have all the problems of coastal living: wind gusts, power outages, downed trees, without actually getting to live near the ocean. There was even a surge today when 3,000 food stamp users stormed downtown Dayton for applications to help make up for their fridges of spoiled food.

I never thought I would say this, but THANK GOD our family milks cows 50 feet from my back door. We have been able to tap into the tractor-powered generator that the farm owns to ensure that the milking equipment will run. And there's nothing so soothing as falling asleep to the gentle flicker of candlelight and the sound of a tractor-powered generator outside the bedroom window.

Anyone who has ever lived in an old house can tell you, though, that there is never an easy way to "tap" into anything when you are dealing with electrical and plumbing systems developed shortly after such things were invented. So we have ONE ROOM with full electric and cords stretched through our house that were previously used to power heat lamps in the sow pen.

We had an epiphany today when we realized that by moving the microwave to the other end of the counter, we could have HOT FOOD. Other breakthroughs include moving the toaster to the living room and buying paper plates so we don't have to wash dishes by hand with cold water (no, the water heater and dishwasher didn't make the electrical cut).

While camping out in our own home is a pain, things could have been a lot worse. We were lucky that the tree that fell at the end of our lane didn't hurt anything, especially after our kids' favorite neighbor "Horn" hauled it out of the way.



The tree was so rotten that two halves fell away, leaving a gaping hole in the middle.

My husband's saintly Grandmother also lost part of a big tree and had her little shed upended. Fortunately, her stash of ancient pushmowers was undisturbed.

So far this year, we have survived a blizzard and now a hurricane. This may be the very best time to take up real estate. Apparently, we can offer both skiing and coastal living right here in Ohio.

Knee High by the Fourth of July

There's an old saying in farm country that corn should be "knee high by the fourth of July" if it's going to be ready for a good harvest in the fall. So enjoy a few fun corn pictures of my kids and kin and a few corn facts you can throw around to impress your carpool buddies as you exit the cul de sac.

Economic Fact: Corn is currently selling for more than $7 a bushel. This means that it is more expensive to feed cattle and pigs--and will affect meat and dairy prices at the store.

You Will be Surprised How Many People Don't Know this Fact: The corn raised on farms by livestock farmers and grain farmers is NOT the same as what you eat. Farmers grow highly evolved "field corn" that is harvested when it is dry and the kernels are hard. People eat "sweet corn," which is very different breed of corn and is harvested when it is still green. (A little trick here: sweet corn is also grown by farmers BUT different farmers)

Fact to Show how In-touch You are With the Plight of Farmers: When corn gets very dry, the leaves curl up and get very pointy. When you see a field looking like this, you can point it out and declare what a dry spell we are in. Very impressive to your rural friends. Or fellow guys who mow their .25 acre lawns with a John Deere riding mower.