New Year, New Blogiversary

It's February 2012 and here I am--too late to do a new years post and really too early to do a 4th  blogiversary post. What the heck, let's do it anyway!

Let's skip right to the fun stuff. This is a Wordle. I inputted every post from 2011 into the Wordle maker. The larger the word, the more frequently it was used.  Looks like Husband edged out the kids again.
 
In 2011, Bringing Home the Bacon was visited by somewhat bemused people in all 50 states and 87 countries. Which begs the question, where did all of these people come from?
 
Glad you asked. Apparently by doing Internet searches on the following actual, real terms used to find this blog:

• Sweet teats
• Woman castrating hog
• holly michaels poop
• Activities normal people do
• Boob wash up
• Large pig sow vulva
• Hottest armpits

And a big thank you to all those people who were combining my name with the search term p0rn and sticking around to read about pig auctions anyway.

I was interested to see how many people were driven by the search engines to some of my older posts. A big welcome to all the people searching for quotes from Christmas Vacation and all of you who do not understand the saying, "Nothing tips like a cow."

Thanks to everyone for reading and commenting here and on Facebook. My son is already counting the days until he is allowed to have his own blog. Nothing could make a mother prouder.

Punxsutawney Farmer

This week we will celebrate a major holiday in which a local legend predicts the arrival of spring based on an arbitrary standard. Yes, if Husband sees his shadow on February 2, we'll have six more weeks of winter.

Wait. That honor belongs to a rodent in Pennsylvania, but February 2 does happen to be Husband's birthday. Check out this slide show. Isn't he the cutest thing? Also, note the pig right out the kitchen window in one photo.



I revel in the fact that I married an older man. Husband sometimes jokes that on his fifth birthday, his parents took him to the hospital to pick out his future bride.

Sometimes, I pick on Husband in this blog. But I do occasionally let slip how long we've been together and how much he means to me.

He comes from a long line of wholesome, clean-living men who are wonderful fathers (and pretty good farmers too). I'm happy every year to grow older with him--although never as old as he is!

Happy Birthday, Husband.

Third Blogiversary!

Oh my, how did I almost forget my third blogiversary. I've been a little light on posting lately but a recent compliment by one of my social media idols has given me new enthusiasm. Now that the weather is warming up I pledge to put on my boots and get out there to cover farm life.

In celebration of this third year, I pasted all of my posts into a cool free tool over at Wordle.net. You can see I love to blog about my farmer Husband and Christmas. Also, I blog about pigs more than my children.

Thanks to all my family readers, my lurkers, my former co-workers who used to tell people in the cafeteria that I wrote a blog about pig sex, my new co-workers who are always saying that should go in the blog and my dear, dear Husband who humors me.

The Chocolate Cake Miracle

My birthday was earlier this week. Yes, four days after Christmas sucks, I know, I know. (Of course, I did the same thing to my daughter, who was born right before Christmas.)

My mother has always made up for the poor timing of my birth by making her blue ribbon (champion at the county fair!) chocolate cake. This year, even though she was going to be out of town on my birthday, she made a cake ahead, iced it when it had barely cooled, then popped it in the freezer.

We kept it frozen at our house until about 24 hours before we were planning to serve it. We defrosted it on the kitchen counter, then Husband brought it to the restaurant (it rode in the back of his Blazer) where we had lunch with the family on my birthday.

The cake set on an empty table while we ate and then Husband sliced it and handed out the pieces. Here's the miracle part: the cake was still warm.

Yes, parts in the middle and the bottom were warm. We don't know how the cake would have been warmed up during any of its thawing or delivery to the restaurant. Is it possible, the cake was still warm in the middle after three days in the freezer?

Or is my Mom just that damn good at making chocolate cake? If you have ever tasted one, you know.

Acting My Age

Yesterday I did two things a woman my age should not do:
1. Go roller skating.
2. Watch a 1973 edition of the Lawrence Welk show.

I am too old for roller skating and have the locker-key shaped bruise on my thigh to prove it. But my younger, hipper sister thought that roller skating would be a fun activity with the kids while she is in town. Even Husband got in on the act, putting on skates for the first time in at least 30 years. Fortunately for him and all the hungry pigs on our farm, he did NOT break his leg. Believe me, I wanted to get photos but was told no blogging. (oops!)

Later in the afternoon I turned on public television, hoping to catch a little Antiques Roadshow (more my speed, you see) but instead saw the intro for a replay of a special episode of the Lawrence Welk show featuring Disney music. The clips looked like long-lost Will Ferrell Saturday Night Live sketches but they were REAL! I decided to pop in my dentures, re-position my Hoveround Chair and settle in to watch TV that was on before I was born. So much of it was unintentionally hilarious but this Mickey Mouse Mambo was the best.



Husband is famous for watching old people shows like Diagnosis Murder and Matlock, so I asked if we wanted to join me. He said, Are you going to put on the blog that you watched Lawrence Welk?

I said, of course, dear. Don't worry; I won't mention that you are old enough to have watched it the first time around. (oops!)

Wearin' O'The Green

Five years ago today, I had the audacity to squirt out my second child before my in-laws even got out of their driveway to come to the hospital.

The second child gets the hand-me-down clothes and the unfinished baby book and he seemed to sense that even as an infant. Much to the dismay of his grandmothers, he would only let me and his babysitter hold him. Even Husband didn't get the chance to do much with him, which was OK since he quickly figured out that the ready-made potty-trained son was much easier than the one who needed breastfeeding and diaper changing.

Justin never fails to surprise and delight us with his imagination. Today we enjoyed some of the nicest St. Patrick's Day weather in the last five years and Justin took advantage of the warm evening to stage this parade of scooter and cobbled together snow sleds.

Oh, and the yellow rubber boots. Don't forget the yellow rubber boots. In case there's farming to do.

St. Patrick's Day will forever be a special occasion at our house. A day of celebrating my middle child and the sweetness he brings to our family--and brand new green shirts.

Christmas Wrap-up

We had a nice Christmas. Santa was good to the kids, and the kids were satisfied that Santa and the reindeer were pleased with their snacks.


Easily, Morgan's favorite gift was the make-up set that Santa left her. We know that because she jumped up and down when she opened it and screeched MAKE-UP, MAKE-UP, MAKE-UP!

The boys, predictably, got tractors and farm sets, plus Carhart jackets for working outside.

Husband didn't get any farm toys but he did get a TV--that we have already managed to break. Me, I got Longaberger dishes, slippers, and a case of the heebie-jeebies that had me spending the next two days after Christmas in bed.

We're still in that post-holiday awkwardness, where we try to absorb new clothes, toys and other gifts into the household. Some things are still under the tree, right where we opened them. While other things, like little plastic pieces of toy fencing, have already made their way into every nook and cranny of the house--even the bathroom.

Christmas might be over but I have another big holiday to celebrate yet this month. Let me also give a shout-out to a fuzzy-headed nephew who, 20 years from now, is going to have the BEST time on New Years Eve.

Merry Birthday

On behalf of all of us celebrating our birthdays this month--in addition to celebrating that other holiday--I share the December Birthday Commandments. Send them to your friends and family.

I. Thou shalt not use Christmas wrapping paper on our gift, unless you would be happy with us using this candy cane paper on your gift in June.

II. Thou shalt not schedule a family Christmas on the day of a birthday. The December Birthday Convention of 1973 has granted an exception for birthdays on December 24 and 25 with the codicil that an appropriate birthday celebration be scheduled forthwith before the end of the calendar year.

III. Thou shalt not say This Christmas gift counts as your birthday gift too. Cheapskate.

IV. Thou shall expend a similar amount of planning and energy as is common to all family/friends birthdays, refraining from complaining about scheduling difficulties and the abundance of sweets this time of year.

V. Thou shalt not say Wow, it must be terrible to have a birthday around Christmas. We know.

VI. Thou shalt NEVER send a birthday card in the same envelope as a Christmas card or write "Happy Birthday" within a Christmas card.

VII. Thou shalt not use Holiday plates, napkins, cups or cutlery at a December birthday party.

VIII. Thou shall make every effort to give year-round gifts, knowing your friend/family member has but one opportunity to receive short-sleeved shirts or a new water ski.

IX. Thou shalt not place December birthday gifts under the Christmas tree.

X. Thou shalt refrain from baby-making activities in March.

UPDATE: Modern researchers say Jesus was actually born in June. Take that you summer birthday people!