Bringing Home the Bacon

There are things I'm supposed to like. How do I know? People tell us all the time what we're supposed to like (hint: the same things they do). Usually, I find out what I'm supposed to like after I've already announced I can't stand it and see the horrified reaction of some well-meaning family member or friend.

And let's face it, I can be a little contrary when it comes to following the crowd. Telling me I'm supposed to like something, is a sure-fire way to get me to research it for myself to see if I can find a good reason to give it a thumbs down. There are many things I do like that statistically I'm supposed to, including chocolate, my mini-van and Matthew McConaughey. But here's where things start to go wrong for me:

1. San Francisco - The coldest winter I ever knew was the summer I spent in San Francisco. I really can't stand San Francisco. Maybe it's the Ohio bumpkin in me but if I'm going to go to all the trouble to fly to Califor…

Not since the John Deere tractor made of foam board have I been so proud of a Halloween costume. It's not any sort of domestic triumph, really, but Ryan's Chilean miner costume was fun to create.

 Unfortunately, I could not convince Husband to scrounge enough materials around the farm to build me an escape capsule.




My little Justin adds his crooked smile to Batman this year. He said he is hoping to find some people to rescue from danger while he is out trick-or-treating.


Our little cowgirl loves her pony (named, Pony, oddly). Her cowgirl hat lights up. Or at least it did the day we bought it until the little cowgirl overused the switch. Now Husband can get it to work by tapping the hat. Fortunately, she can't tell if it's working or not when she wears it--so if you run into us this weekend, THE LIGHTS ARE ON--got it?

And remember, the Chilean miners were underground for 70 days. Any that stop by to trick-or-treat will need extra candy.

The toy catalogs have started rolling into our home. Stacks of them waiting for me every day in the unsorted mail. Yes, my mail is unsorted. We have a very long lane. Husband gets the mail every day and looks at it as he walks the whole way back (I've seen this.) but then, instead of dealing with the junk mail--even the stuff addressed to our former neighbor or Husband himself--he stacks it in the house for me (or the mail fairy, I suppose) to deal with. Between that and the piles upon piles of scribbled papers our children produce, I spend the first 20 minutes I arrive home every day just putting things in the trash.

But now the toy catalogs are in the mix. Fortunately, Justin and Morgan are stepping up. They have spent hours cutting up these catalogs and/or circling things within. Justin went so far as to make a book about all the things he wants to get for Christmas. This is the cover:



His book is appropriately titled I can git the things, by Justin Michael. Part of me twinges …

Every issue of Sports Illustrated has a brief quote titled Sign of the Apocolypse, a humorous but true sports news item that makes you wonder--have we gone too far? In that spirit, I present another installment of Sign of the Farmpocalypse, because I just can't make this stuff up.

I have to give haircuts to pigs.
- Husband's excuse for missing his cousin's wedding this coming spring.

My mother-in-law--who does not possess a computer and will have to hear about this posting from her sister four states away--recently made us all proud. Last spring she retired after 30 years of teaching elementary students and this fall was given our small town's highest honor: she was asked to serve as grand marshal of the homecoming parade.

What a tribute to her and all the lives she's touched as a teacher.
I can't help but ponder my own career in comparison. What's the homecoming parade of my retirement? Will I end up as the grand marshal? When I think about it, my mother-in-law wasn't honored because she ran the best social studies lessons or had the best spelling tests, she was honored for caring about people, doing her job with pride and for going above and beyond in serving her "customers." Something to emulate.

Our family just returned from a trip to Disney World and I have to say that after making three trips to Disney in the last 20 months (due to an unusual clumping of circumstances, including Husband's milestone birthday last year), we are becoming experts. I have a few tips to share--but if you're looking for breathless exclamations about how you should put $13.45 aside every week or take the park counter-clockwise and bring your own peanut butter sandwiches, then this is not the Disney advice blog for you.

My tips and observations are for normal families that even my less-than-normal family found useful:
Tip - get the Disney Dining Plan. During the fall and maybe other off-peak times, Disney has been offering this for free. Let me tell you, if you can eat free at Disney, it's almost like you're losing money by not going on vacation. Even if you can't get the Dining Plan for free, you want it. The cost is reasonable and it saves you a bundle. Also, you can relax durin…