Multi-Media Pig Show Report

Welcome to the only place on the internet where mad communications skilz, almost unbearable maternal pride and swine come together. It's the first ever Multi-Media Pig Show Report®.

Welcome to our report from the National Swine Registry Summer Type Conference. Where else would a Multi-Media Pig Show Report begin but the pig barn at the Expo Center in Louisville, Kentucky, where the pigs were very happy. Aren't they cute when they're sleeping.

Oh, and this little one is cute too. Shhh don't tell Grandma S. that she's in your computer--she won't like it!

Back to the report... Todd showed pigs, Ryan showed pigs and Justin won first place with his poster all about pigs. The end.

But wait! I promised you a Multi-Media Pig Show Report and I don't disappoint. We have next our first-ever Bringing Home the Bacon video production, starring Ryan and featuring jerky photography and jumpy editing by yours truly.




Wait! There's more! If you act now, I'll throw in the complete photo montage on Flickr, a $24.99 value--yours FREE!

If for any reason you haven't enjoyed your Multi-Media Pig Show Report, just return it for a full refund. Minus shipping and handling.

7 Pigs, 2 Boys, 1,166 Miles

Let me take a moment to suspend this blog's regularly scheduled gentle teasing of Husband to point out admiringly that he just completed a five-day, 1,166-mile trip with two boys and seven pigs.

Last week he loaded up our beautiful aluminum trailer with his finest Yorkshires and headed out to Des Moines for the World Pork Expo.

Not only did he care for a selection of pigs and 2/3 of his own offspring, Husband, the man who is genetically predisposed to take six photos on a weeklong trip to Disney, TOOK SEVERAL PHOTOS.

In addition to showing his barrow and gilt for ribbons, Ryan participated in a number of contests on his skills as a junior swine farmer. He won fifth in his age group of more than 100 kids from 48 states and two countries. Justin and his Yorkshire gilt won a lovely silver ribbon too.

Here is Justin showing his Yorkshire gilt. The goal of pig showing is to get your pig in view of the judge multiple times. Unfortunately, both the judge and the pig insist on walking around the show ring randomly. Your job as a pig exhibitor (well not your job, actually) is to use a plastic pipe or wooden cane to gently tap the pig and steer it in the direction you want, to maximize viewing by the judge. Of course, 250 lb pig + 40 lb kid = things not always going as planned.

Ryan and Justin both did a great job, but it was all due to the dedication of their father, whose only slip-up was coming home with seven boys and two pigs.

Truthfully, he managed this huge trip with incredible calm and organization. The World Pork Expo doesn't give out ribbons for that--but they should.

Road Trip

Husband and the boys left this week for a farmer-son road trip to, where else, the World Pork Expo.

Really, I should just stop the post now. World Pork Expo seems to be a punchline in and of itself. But this is serious business--it's like Comdex for hog farmers. (Oh, sorry tech geeks, Comdexdoesn't exist anymore, does it?)

I attended last year's World Pork Expo, a very strategic move, it turns out, because I wouldn't have wanted Husband to be tempted to bring me back any weird souvenirs.

This year Husband and his father loaded up four Yorkshire gilts (white females), two Yorkshire boars (males, with balls), and one Hampshire barrow (black with a white belt, no balls) for the 10-hour drive to Des Moines, Iowa.

Our pigs travel in deluxe aluminium accommodations. I would mention the trailer brand just to be nice but they don't seem to have much of a Web site, let along a social media program. So I'll just say this: We would have brought our Carhartt Jackets but it was too warm for Carhartt Jackets and we left the Carhartt Jackets at home [I'm not compensated, just fishing for a comment from the nice people at Carhartt who seem to "get" the Internet.]

Anyway, Ryan and Justin were very excited to head out on an adventure with Daddy. Husband is to be commended for taking such a big trip by himself. I just hope he can get a little shuteye while Ryan drives through Illinois.

More World Pork Expo updates and this blog's FIRST EVER photo contributions from Husband, coming soon!

I ama pig farmr.

There is no better moment as a parent than when you look over the little head of your offspring to make eye contact with your spouse, both bursting with pride and stifled laughter. We do this often with Ryan like when he visits every pig pen in the entire State Fair to pick out a gilt to buy, or when he notices that the Hampshire sow we bought in Iowa is now in a different barn on the farm, or when he takes little scraps of paper outside to grade this winter's litters.

Today, Ryan came home with a paper he did at school. Heaven only knows what his Friendly Suburban-Dwelling Teacher thought when she saw this:

In case you can't read 1st grade-ese, I'll translate:
What is special about me: I am a pig farmer.
What makes me happy: pigs.
Animals I like: pigs
What I like to do: Go to pig shows.

This fall he had to do a poster about himself where he cut out various things to represent what he liked to eat and play, etc. I had to LIMIT him to two pigs per box. He just couldn't understand why he couldn't put a Duroc sow and a Hampshire boar as two separate things that he liked.

How do you tell a seven-year-old future pig farmr that to most people, a pig is just a pig.

The Pig Ate My Homework

I'm sure that many schools in this country would be hesitant to condone absenteeism due to swine exhibition obligations but fortunately we live in Small Town America, so our son's absence from school to take his pigs to Georgia last month was OK.

Ryan participated in the National Junior Swine Association Southeast Regional show held at the Georgia State Fairgrounds.

He exhibited two Yorkshire gilts with the help of his GrandDad who accompanied him on the trip. He discovered he really likes Waffle House. Ryan made the discovery--GrandDad, who in the great tradition of our forefathers regularly worked until all the normal restaurants are closed, already knew about Waffle House.

This was the first (of many, I'm sure) hog road trip Ryan made without his Dad. He did a great job.

Once again, Ryan brought home multiple awards, including first place with his gilt and sixth place overall among his age group.

And lest anyone accuse us of taking him out of school for some sort of pig vacation, Ryan was tested on his swine farming knowledge. He performed the best he's ever done in this test, called the skillathon.

The last thing we want to do is raise one of those weird kids who have no social skills and wear blue jeans and flannel shirts year round, but we're proud to have a son who wants to learn as much as he can about agriculture.

Someone's got to help the next generation of Friendly Suburban-Dwelling Co-Workers.

Maternity Ward

Well, we're finally seeing the results of all the hard work husband has been doing since September to inseminate the pigs... Oh, maybe that didn't come out right.

What I mean is that all of the planning and breeding that took place earlier on the farm is starting to pay off with the birth of several litters of pigs.

This litter of 13 piglets is two weeks old. The little gilts (females) and boars (males) keep warm on cold Ohio nights under a heat lamp. You can see on the left that they can exit their little warm spot to nurse with the sow but are protected by the fence from accidental squishing by their mother. Hey, if you weighed 500 pounds and had 13 babies underfoot, you might accidentally step on one or two.

Remember Miss? Well, her golden days as a State Fair beauty may be behind her, but she is getting ready to have her first litter of pigs any day now (early December). We'll keep you updated with pictures when the piglets arrive. (Unless it's too cold. I'm very much a fair weather farmer.)
Like Miss, we have several sows who are ready to farrow (give birth) in the next few weeks. Husband claims this sow is 11 years old. He credits her with raising several of the pigs Ryan showed this summer and says she is the grandmother of many of our other good pigs.

This younger sow is also due in early December.

You wouldn't believe the big spider in the corner of this guy's pen, spinning a web that looked like it had letters in it...

This little guy is actually from the first litter from our new piggy Daddy, Big Splash. He and his siblings were outside enjoying the sunshine, looking forward to this summer at the State Fair.

I've just got to say again, while LOTS of blogs can comment on brand disasters and family life, WHAT other blog can provide such fresh-from-the-farm cuteness?

Special Delivery

Friendly Suburban-Dwelling friends and co-workers frequently ask me, so what's going on at the farm this time of year?

I know they are expecting to hear wonderful autumn-on-the-farm stories about harvesting corn, tapping maple trees, and selecting the perfect pumpkin from our own little patch.

Well, I respond, this time of year, we get a lot of semen in the mail. Seriously, my husband, who normally can't plan more than twenty minutes into the future, knows that now is the time to breed his pigs so they can be born in December, January, and February. This ensures they will be big enough for 4-H kids to buy in April for the county fair in August.

But back to the semen. In the mail. Actually, it usually ships overnight via UPS. Brings a whole new answer to the question What can Brown do for you?

Here's how it works... My husband has a sow (female pig) that is coming in heat, so he opens his boar catalog, selects her perfect mate, picks up the phone and orders two plastic bottles of his swimmers to be shipped overnight.

Yes, just like you have LL Bean and Lands End in your magazine rack, we have Cain's Super Sires and Swine Genetics International. The boars are selected based on their pedigrees and the goals for the litter, i.e. we need purebred pigs to take to the State Fair or this litter should be crossbred to produce pigs for kids to show at the county fair.

The semen arrives in a Styrofoam cooler (not frozen) inside a box. How does it get in the bottle? Look here.

I just want to make an environmental side note here that we DO reuse the Styrofoam coolers. In fact, when I was breastfeeding I would take the pig semen coolers with me on business trips. They worked GREAT to store and ship breast milk too. (Say ewwwww all you want, but I actually did this.)

Once the bottles arrive, my husband takes a long tube especially designed for this purpose, sticks it in the vulva of the pig and then squeezes the contents of the bottle until, if all goes well, the sow is bred.

You can imagine... no, you probably can't... that between talking on the phone almost daily about semen, keeping boxes of newly arrived semen in the kitchen (it's not on the table, at least), and all the breeding that goes on in the barn, our kids have picked up a few things along the way.

Our oldest has already had a bonding moment with his father when they picked out the "piglet daddy" for his new gilt. And our daughter has very innocently inquired about the equipment other men possess for this important task, asking her father while he was breeding a sow with his special plastic rod, does Uncle (his brother) have a breeder?

Swine Lecture Series - Breeds of Hogs

Welcome back to the Internet's one and only Swine Lecture Series. Today we'll cover the basic breeds of hogs.

Every species of animals that includes registered breeds, whether that's dogs, horses, or Big Ten football fans, has non-negotiable breed characteristics. For most animals, breed characteristics include size, coat color and texture, attitude, plus the desire to wear necklaces made out of poisonous nuts and spell the state name during gibberish songs.

For pigs, breed characteristics include color (their hair is clear, so all coloring comes from the skin), color markings (spots, belt, contrast on face and legs) and the direction their ears point (pointy and alert vs. hanging down over the eyes).

The National Swine Registry, the AKC of pigs, oversees the main breeds of hogs, Yorkshire, Hampshire, Duroc and Landrace. But there are other breeds that are less populous and don't feature class sizes of 500; think of them as the Mid-American Conference of pigs.

For example, there are the Berkshires, mostly black pigs with white noses and white "socks" on four legs. The Berkshire breeders have admirably attempted to market their product as the "Angus Beef" of pork.

You don't see them that often, but many state fairs have a show for purebred Tamworth hogs. Tamworth's are known for their pointy snouts and WILD nature. Years ago hogs were mainly raised outside in lots where tough, rangy hogs survived best and the Tamworth's remain a throwback to that era.

Speaking of hogs that are rare or unpopular (depending on who you ask), our farm raises Hereford hogs, in addition to our main herd of State Fair-winning Yorkshires and Hampshires.

Check out this lovely specimen--and a nice looking Hereford too. This barrow (castrated male) hog was raised by us and then sold to the the cute 4-Her next door who won reserve champion at the Ohio State Fair. The champion was also raised by us. In fact, the champion or reserve Hereford at the Ohio State Fair has come from our farm for the last 10 years or so.

Years ago, when we were young and ambitious (foolish?), my husband and I would load up a trailer or two of purebred hogs and stay for about a week at the Ohio State Fair. The year our son was born, I was still on maternity leave during the fair, so we thought it would be fun to show LOTS of pigs. So we loaded up our Yorkshires, Hampshires and Herefords, plus our eight-week-old baby and headed to Columbus. We did pretty well, winning champions with all three breeds.

We had a lot of help from our family showing most of the hogs, but when it came time to show our Herefords that year, everyone had left, leaving us with no one to watch our baby while we showed. Luckily the kind women who worked in the swine barn office were more than willing to hold our little guy.

Which brings me to the final point about purebred hogs. The best aspect to being part of the purebred hog community (everyone has a "community" these days) is the people. People like us who keep coolers of pig semen in their kitchen, people who fill their magazine racks with boar catalogs, people who know more about the genealogy of their herd than the names of their cousins, people known for their hard work and integrity--they make up a rare breed, indeed.

Making Memories at the County Fair

My kids are filthy, my carpet is littered with sawdust, there are no clean blue jeans in the house. Yep, it's county fair time!

For a farm family, the county fair is part livestock bragging rights, part social gathering, part family reunion, and part marathon. For us, it means making sure our seven-year-old is ready to show his gilt (female pig), the four-year-old has eaten something more than the candy he got from pee-wee showmanship, and the two-year-old hasn't been run over by a cow--because the cow would not want to know her wrath.

The Montgomery County Fair is the culmination of our summer of hog showing. This year our combined family (ours plus my husband's brother's family) brought six gilts, four head of dairy (cows), plus a myriad of cakes, cupcakes, scarecrows, etc.


Here, Justin, Ryan and Morgan pose with the 2008 Montgomery County Pork Queen. Believe it or not, that title is a big honor.

They are celebrating Ryan's grand champion gilt and Justin's win in the 3-4 year-old pee-wee swine showmanship class. He managed to win, even after hitting the judge in the be-hind with his pig whip.



Little sister needs to pay attention and learn from the 3-4 year-old champ.

My sister-in-law was inspired by the displays that the big dairy farms put up at the Ohio State Fair--many include water features, painted murals of the farm, their prize cow sculpted in butter, and more. This one was awarded best dairy display at the fair.

Justin was too busy eating candy to show off his trophy, so Morgan stepped in to share her participation ribbon (it's PINK!) and Ryan had a minor stroke (just kidding).

We have exhibited Ayrshire dairy heifers (females) at the fair for 40+ years. And only once in that time did we actually have any competition. But no matter, we persevere on and are introducing a new generation of the family to the method of walking into the ring and collecting multiple ribbons, then exiting. They are also learning how to cash the premium check.

A motley crew of future dairymen (and dairywomen) participated in pee-wee dairy showmanship.

My husband and I have so many fond memories of our time at the county fair and our years in 4-H. I know our children are also having fun while learning important life lessons:

• The hard work you do behind the scenes pays off when you're on display
• Put your best foot forward, even when you have no apparent competition
• If you walk behind the bull, you will step in it
  

Swine Lecture Series - Auctions

Welcome back students. I hope you enjoyed your summer off, but now it is time to get back to our Swine Lecture Series.

When a farmer needs a new pig or wants to expand his herd, the best way to buy is at an auction.
Many hog shows like the Summer Type Conference auction off the exhibited pigs--using the results to determine sale order.

Some farms also host their own pig auctions at the farm to sell boars (males) and gilts (females) to other farmers who want to use them as breeding stock. Here are some pigs ready for a farm auction.

OK, so they're not too excited yet. But in a few hours, they will be heading off to a new farm (we hope) to fulfill their happy pig lives as the mothers and fathers of the next generation of purebred hogs. You may recall that the black and white ones are Hampshires, the all-white ones, Yorkshires.


Now let's review the key elements to a successful pig auction on the farm. Like any event, you need to market the date/time/location with advertising, Web site, and a database of customers for direct mail.

A good auctioneer is critical. Our auctioneer, Dan, has been coming to our farm every fall for 40+ years. Right after this photo was snapped Dan said: wasthatlightening?wasthatlightening?doIneed toswitchswitchswichtobattery?battery?didsomeonesaybattery?

Nothatwasjustmyflash, I responded.


Food is an important part of any successful event. Here, my garage doubles as a 4-H lunch stand. Don't tell the health department. A really classy event includes childcare. Great-Grandma and a swing set will do.


In summary, hosting a pig auction is a lot like any other event a business may put on. You need lighting, sound, stage/podium, marketing, direct mail, parking, childcare, food, and staff. You also need a guy who can talk fast, and guests of honor who intend to poop all over the place.

A Moment Not to Miss

There are many moments in parenthood when you wonder what you have gotten yourself into. When your baby projectile vomits in the car. When your toddler dips his hand in his diaper and smears poop on his nose in the middle of JC Penney. When you finally break down and start channeling your mother: Do I have to Stop. This. Car?!

But thankfully there are other moments. Moments that you can't even blog about without getting all emotional. Moments that remind you why it was a good idea to reproduce, after all.

Of course, I'm talking about the day that your little baby boy becomes a man. The day he buys his first pig at auction.

Our Ryan began shopping for a Hampshire gilt (black and white, female pig) as soon as he arrived at the Ohio State Fair. By the time of the auction he had investigated every pig in the barn, cross-referencing against the sale list. A feat made all the more challenging by his kindergarten-level of reading and writing.

He picked out a lovely gilt from Iowa named Miss. And when the auction started he stood with his GrandDad... seriously, I'm blowing my nose now... raised his little arm and signaled to the auctioneer. With his GrandDad at his side (occasionally reminding him to lower his arm), his father looking on proudly, and his Grandmother sobbing with joy, he bought his first pig.

Meet Miss and her proud new farmer:



Miss is home on the farm now. She hasn't stopped helping make memorable family moments. My husband and Ryan got to pick out the boar who will be her "piglet Daddy" and then artificially breed her--just another touching father-son bonding moment on the farm.

Fourth Best Pig Farmer in the Nation

Our son is officially the fourth best pig farmer in the United States under the age of 8, at least according to the officials at the World Pork Expo. And their word is good enough for me.

In addition to winning shows with his prize Yorkshire gilt, he entered a number of pig-related contests during this event. It's like the pork decathlon but we call it a "sweepstakes." It's name suggests a game of chance but the sweepstakes results are based on a point system similar in its complexity to the one that the BCS uses to always put Notre Dame in a bowl game.

After doing well in multiple events all week, today Ryan was presented with a ribbon, plate and check for $100. [Total winnings: three ribbons, one banner, $250]

So tomorrow we leave town with the fourth best pig farmer in the country (under 8). I guess he'll let his father think he still runs things.