All About Pigs

Following on his hit essay I ama pig farmr, our son has penned the book on the swine industry.

I bring you: "All About Pigs."

Pigs that are white are Yorkshires.

Pigs that are Hampshires are black.

There is a kind of feed that is special.

Some kinds of feeds have vitamins in it.

Some kinds of feeds are good.

You have to put your pig in a pen. They might get out. You have to get them in.

You make sure that they are in.

Wearin' O'The Green

Five years ago today, I had the audacity to squirt out my second child before my in-laws even got out of their driveway to come to the hospital.

The second child gets the hand-me-down clothes and the unfinished baby book and he seemed to sense that even as an infant. Much to the dismay of his grandmothers, he would only let me and his babysitter hold him. Even Husband didn't get the chance to do much with him, which was OK since he quickly figured out that the ready-made potty-trained son was much easier than the one who needed breastfeeding and diaper changing.

Justin never fails to surprise and delight us with his imagination. Today we enjoyed some of the nicest St. Patrick's Day weather in the last five years and Justin took advantage of the warm evening to stage this parade of scooter and cobbled together snow sleds.

Oh, and the yellow rubber boots. Don't forget the yellow rubber boots. In case there's farming to do.

St. Patrick's Day will forever be a special occasion at our house. A day of celebrating my middle child and the sweetness he brings to our family--and brand new green shirts.

I ama pig farmr.

There is no better moment as a parent than when you look over the little head of your offspring to make eye contact with your spouse, both bursting with pride and stifled laughter. We do this often with Ryan like when he visits every pig pen in the entire State Fair to pick out a gilt to buy, or when he notices that the Hampshire sow we bought in Iowa is now in a different barn on the farm, or when he takes little scraps of paper outside to grade this winter's litters.

Today, Ryan came home with a paper he did at school. Heaven only knows what his Friendly Suburban-Dwelling Teacher thought when she saw this:

In case you can't read 1st grade-ese, I'll translate:
What is special about me: I am a pig farmer.
What makes me happy: pigs.
Animals I like: pigs
What I like to do: Go to pig shows.

This fall he had to do a poster about himself where he cut out various things to represent what he liked to eat and play, etc. I had to LIMIT him to two pigs per box. He just couldn't understand why he couldn't put a Duroc sow and a Hampshire boar as two separate things that he liked.

How do you tell a seven-year-old future pig farmr that to most people, a pig is just a pig.

Happy Blogiversary

One year ago today, at the urging of a friend, I decided that other people would like a behind-the-scenes look at farm life from the perspective of a person who spends her days in corporate America and her evenings saying things to her spouse and children like Don't store your s&men collection supplies on the kitchen counter--put them on top of the washer.

I really have to dedicate this blogiversary post to the person who has been my inspiration, my blogging muse: my husband. A never-ending source of humor and unique situations, Husband never fails to shake his head when he reads this blog. And that is only when I leave it up on the screen for him. He and his faithful AOL browser don't know how to get here on their own.



But in spite of all the mild ribbing he takes here, he still remembered my blogiversary and commissioned this cake. (HA!)

I also have to thank our parents for raising us in such bizarre families and providing me with much interesting fodder, like appliances and furniture gone bad.

I don't have a million people visiting this blog, but I have been able to share my tales of farm kids and PR industry commentary with people from 47 states (Wyoming, Vermont, Rhode Island--where are you?) AND 37 countries. The most important statistic I found is that one-third of visitors have returned 50 or more times.

So thank you loyal readers and perpetual lurkers. Here's to another great year.

Let's Go Fly a Kite

Last year at this time we were recovering from a blizzard. Today, the temp was 70, so the kids and I were able to turn the hay field into our own kite flying range.


Morgan and Justin had never flown kites before but they were quick learners. Morgan even assembled a very special farm girl kite flying outfit.

We had to be careful of all the usual kite-eating trees and power lines, but on the farm there are additional hazards. Corn stalks are not good for kites; neither are cows but the one on the far right was behind a fence.

Kitty, Kitty are you OK? Get up Kitty, you can do it! Morgan and I found it helpful to shout words of encouragement to her kite.

Once she got the hang of it, she had a blast.

PR Idea of the Week

This week I just couldn't look away from the PR-wreck in process with a local school district. It's almost comical how predictable the story is. It goes like this:

1. Local school district writes well-intentioned code of conduct with "zero tolerance" type policies.
2. Cute first grader brings in a plastic knife to cut her cupcake, or 6th grade punk gives cough drop to his girlfriend, or kindergartner kisses a classmate, or wrestler steals (or forgets to pay for) $1.30 worth of cookies
3. Gutless principal is very sorry but he MUST apply all the rules to EVERYONE THE SAME and also the punishment
4. Astounded parents, accompanied by their lawyer, go to the court of public opinion (and real court) via the media
5. School board and other school officials hide behind policy of not discussing student disciplinary issues
6. Minor situation that could have been handled by a detention becomes national news story
7. Repeat steps 4 and 5 until community is completely divided and/or media move on to something else

As a PR person who enjoys a juicy school vs. media showdown, I say why introduce common sense at this juncture. Your zero tolerance approach is really working for you (let me know how that school tax levy campaign goes, will you).

But as a mother, voter and more importantly, a taxpayer, I would like to see schools start thinking about how winning the war of public opinion is always more important than winning the battle over little Suzie's plastic spork.

How to get a passing grade in PR 101:

1. Insert a common sense clause into your handbook. The American Bar Association has a very thoughtful report on zero tolerance. A key quote: Schools are confusing equal treatment with equitable treatment. . . . Kids in middle school and high school care most about fairness. When they see two students whose 'offenses' are vastly different being treated exactly the same, that sense of fairness is obliterated and replaced with fear and alienation.
2. Speak up. Assuming you have followed the first rule, then don't wait five media cycles to say something in the school's defense. You have a duty to the rest of your well-behaved students not to let parents, lawyers or media smear your district unfairly.
3. Get some media training for the school board and key administrators. Don't let your school board send poorly-written emotional notes to the media after the story has almost died down.
4. Grow a pair--of externally focused eyes--that are able to see how the real world is going to perceive what is happening inside your little educational bubble.
5. There will be a test. Actually, it will start out as a pop quiz to see how well your administration can handle an unanticipated breech of student rules. Follow steps 1-4 above, and maybe we won't need to cover the same materials on the final.

Guy Reads

Welcome to another installment of Guy Reads. So, what is Guy (my nickname for my husband) reading this week?

Both of us have been following the story of a Centerville High School wrestler accused of stealing at school whose parents went to court to allow him to wrestle in a district meet.

The Dayton Daily News has put all their journalistic power behind this one, using their Bengals reporter (I guess he knows how to cover athletes in trouble), his blog, front page sports stories, and even email alerts. Last night coming home from work, the update on this wrestler's legal status was the TOP STORY on both the radio and promos for the night's newscasts.

Husband and I both have uninformed opinions about this case (as do many, many commenters at the Dayton Daily New Web site) but I see no need to share them here. While Husband sees this as a sports story, I see it as an example of how public opinion can run amok over your reputation--the kid, his family and the school.

As reporter Chick Ludwig said, "Can [this] riveting soap opera finally be put to rest? Well, maybe, maybe not."